Being in healthy relationships refers to feeling socially integrated, cared about and supported by others as well as satisfied with your social connections.
The ultimate truth about relationships: Caring + Confrontation = Growth
The components of caring are:
• Using positive body language: Use the acronym FELORI
> F = Face the other person
> E = Make Eye contact
> L = Lean slightly towards the other person
> O= Open body posture
> R = Be Relaxed
> I = Show Interest
• Really hearing what someone is saying and showing it. How do I make sure I have heard? How do I show that I have heard?
> Use a technique called “Reflection” – like holding up a mirror in which the other person’s situation / thoughts / feelings are reflected
> Every “message” has:
- Verbal content (what the person is actually saying with their words)
- Non-verbal content (what you gather through their body language etc.)
> Summarize what you have heard the other person say – reflect:
- the situation
- the thoughts/feelings
- What you pick up from their non-verbal communication (body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc.)
> Reflection gives the other person the opportunity to correct and deepen your understanding, and communicates that you have really heard and understood them
• Positive feedback: Giving positive feedback is a nice way of reaffirming others and making them feel valued and appreciated
Confrontation refers to:
> Being open and honest, even if it means giving “negative” feedback
> Don’t just “complain” – suggest a more acceptable alternative
> Communicate your needs, wants, thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly
> Do it in a nice way – Remember, treat others as you would like them to treat you
Remember that both caring and confrontation go hand in hand in improving your relationships.
DeKUT counseling centre…Always ready to listen…