DeKUT Directorate of Student Welfare

Being in healthy relationships refers to feeling socially integrated, cared about and supported by others as well as satisfied with your social connections.
The ultimate truth about relationships: Caring + Confrontation = Growth

The components of caring are:
•    Using positive body language: Use the acronym FELORI
>    F = Face the other person
>    E = Make Eye contact
>    L = Lean slightly towards the other person
>    O= Open body posture
>    R = Be Relaxed
>    I = Show Interest

•    Really hearing what someone is saying and showing it. How do I make sure I have heard? How do I show that I have heard?
>    Use a technique called “Reflection” – like holding up a mirror in which the other person’s situation / thoughts / feelings are reflected
>    Every “message” has:
-     Verbal content (what the person is actually saying with their words)
-     Non-verbal content (what you gather through their body language etc.)
>    Summarize what you have heard the other person say – reflect:
-     the situation
-     the thoughts/feelings
-     What you pick up from their non-verbal communication (body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc.)
>    Reflection gives the other person the opportunity to correct and deepen your understanding, and communicates that you have really heard and understood them
•    Positive feedback: Giving positive feedback is a nice way of reaffirming others and making them feel valued and appreciated

Confrontation refers to:
>    Being open and honest, even if it means giving “negative” feedback
>    Don’t just “complain” – suggest a more acceptable alternative
>    Communicate your needs, wants, thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly
>    Do it in a nice way – Remember, treat others as you would like them to treat you
Remember that both caring and confrontation go hand in hand in improving your relationships.

DeKUT counseling centre…Always ready to listen…